Man, there’s always something. Guess I could get a job at a nice Subway sandwich shop and get on O’Bama Care. Have a bunch of kids and qualify for an Earned Income Tax Credit of a few grand. Add some food stamps, Section 8 housing, a few cash deals selling cannabis on the side. Hell, I’m allowed 99 plants in Calif according to MyPotGuru.com.
Think I’ll sell some books! A lot easier. “How to Grow Cannabis in Your Closet Tax Free.” Better, “RENT-TO-OWN Cannabis Grow Pots!”
We just completed a 1 month survey of payday loan stores and car title lenders.
Total stores involved 767 in Calif., Nevada, Arizona, and Washington.
Total approved 1st time transactions: 97,409
Consumers who physically visited a store OR emailed/faxed/called and eventually were approved found the lenders via:
- Signs 55% = 53,575 loans
- Referred by friend/family: 14% = 13,637 loans
- Referred by auto mechanic, tire shop, radiator repair…9% = 8,767 loans
- Online search with an immediate call/text to the store: 19% = 18,508 loans
- Direct mailer: 3% = 2,922 loans
- Yellow pages: Ha Ha
So… does your loan management software reveal these stats to you? Are your employees trained to input this data accurately and consistently?
Do you review it and make adjustments monthly?
Do you check your Yelp ratings and respond to input?
You gotta a Twitter guru in your store?
What’s your sign look like? No, I don’t mean are you a Scorpio like me!
Gotta website? How’s it look on your phone? Got a click to call button? A Map button? Ah… you gotta at least have a text button?
No? You’re screwed! You’re tired, outdated and destined for the junk-heap. Don’t waste your money on the CFSA convention. Take what meager cash you have left and get a Juicery Franchise. At least you won’t have CFPB headaches coming at you like a freight train!
Oh wait! Probably some kind of health dept. already looking for you. And the firemen inspectors will be paying your juice shop a visit real soon. Don’t want any expired fire extinguishers at $5000 per infraction on the premises.
Need a bank while we’re at it? Forget it. Guns, ammo, payday loan, gaming, porno, multi-lvel marketing are all OUT of banking thanks to operation “Choke Point.” Even the cannabis industry is trying to figure this out.
I got an idea? How about growing cannabis on tribe lands? The FED’s just stated they won’t bother the federally recognized tribes. They’re a sovereign nation! Grow it and deliver to the dispensaries via DRONES! That’s it!! Bet I know a few tribes that would create/pass a marijuana growers economic development board. Issue some licenses… I know a great Northern Calif. grower who would be happy to be their grower Guru: MyPotGuru
Oh, shit! We’re gonna need a bank! Wait! I gotta a tribe owned credit union. Would that work?
OK, where’s all the lawyers and compliance guys when I need them?
Gotta get an app made to hookup with my local budtender… A Hemp Exchange to bring growers and dispensaries together. Form a testing lab to guaranty consistency. Then I’ll need a packaging company to create adult compliant, kid safe, dog safe sealed packaging. Shucks, I’ll probably need the FDA to approve my packaging. And the Bureau of Indian Affairs may want a meeting.
Guess I’ll just eat an edible chocolate night train brownie, analyze my loan management software stats and relax knowing the CFPB is protecting me from myself.